[Proculation]

Bacardi4206 Bacardi4206:

Proculation Proculation:

Maybe because i'm of a new generation but I see nothing wrong of having more than one partner if both persons agree. We are no longer in 1900.

Wasn't it the old age that was more into swinging? Like the 1960's? I thought it was the new 'modern' age that had all the prudes?

That's why I said 1900 when you married your wife at 18 before even had kissed her and it was for life.

[Brenda]

gonavy47 gonavy47:

You're right. I give up. My life experience means nothing. Swingers are honest, open and caring people who only want to give the gift of their genitals to humankind to promote peace and harmony in the world. They are not self-centered assholes who only care about themselves. I stand corrected. (Please forgive me if it takes awhile to change my way of thinking, say thirty years or so.)

WTF? Did I say that?

YOU claim ALL swingers are assholes yadda yadda yadda. You know as well as I do, THAT is bullshit. Just because you ran into one doesn't mean ALL are.

Just because a kid hit your kid, ALL kids are abusive?

[gonavy47]

Brenda Brenda:

gonavy47 gonavy47:

You're right. I give up. My life experience means nothing. Swingers are honest, open and caring people who only want to give the gift of their genitals to humankind to promote peace and harmony in the world. They are not self-centered assholes who only care about themselves. I stand corrected. (Please forgive me if it takes awhile to change my way of thinking, say thirty years or so.)

WTF? Did I say that?

YOU claim ALL swingers are assholes yadda yadda yadda. You know as well as I do, THAT is bullshit. Just because you ran into one doesn't mean ALL are.

Just because a kid hit your kid, ALL kids are abusive?

Based on what I've seen, the majority of them have some real problems. Mostly lack of self-esteem, or on the flip-side an over-abundance of self-esteem to the point of extreme selfishness.
You must be a swinger to be defending them so. If not, you need to meet some to see what I mean.

[Brenda]

I don't know why I should be one to "defend" them? I guess I should be a kid to "defend" them too? Or a muslim to "defend" them? Give your head a shake. I wasn't born yesterday. I am Dutch, remember? I am still shocked about the prudeness of N-A... Or no, let me rephrase that. The lying about it. N-A are not prude. They PRETEND to have so much morals but in the meantime, the biggest sex industrie is in NA...

The "ohhhhh Amsterdam, the city of doom, it is terrible, naked women in windows, hookers on every streetcorner"...
In the meantime though...

[gonavy47]

Brenda Brenda:

I don't know why I should be one to "defend" them? I guess I should be a kid to "defend" them too? Or a muslim to "defend" them? Give your head a shake. I wasn't born yesterday. I am Dutch, remember? I am still shocked about the prudeness of N-A... Or no, let me rephrase that. The lying about it. N-A are not prude. They PRETEND to have so much morals but in the meantime, the biggest sex industrie is in NA...

The "ohhhhh Amsterdam, the city of doom, it is terrible, naked women in windows, hookers on every streetcorner"...
In the meantime though...

WTF does being a kid or a muslim have to do with defending swingers? I am not a prude. I have come to my conclusions, from having observed these people over time. They are not happy, contented, well-adjusted people. If you find that hard to believe, then I guess you do. OH well...

[Brenda]

gonavy47 gonavy47:

Brenda Brenda:

I don't know why I should be one to "defend" them? I guess I should be a kid to "defend" them too? Or a muslim to "defend" them? Give your head a shake. I wasn't born yesterday. I am Dutch, remember? I am still shocked about the prudeness of N-A... Or no, let me rephrase that. The lying about it. N-A are not prude. They PRETEND to have so much morals but in the meantime, the biggest sex industrie is in NA...

The "ohhhhh Amsterdam, the city of doom, it is terrible, naked women in windows, hookers on every streetcorner"...
In the meantime though...

WTF does being a kid or a muslim have to do with defending swingers? I am not a prude. I have come to my conclusions, from having observed these people over time. They are not happy, contented, well-adjusted people. If you find that hard to believe, then I guess you do. OH well...

You claim I HAVE to be one to defend one. Fyi, I defend muslims too.

I HATE generalization. And what you are doing, is generalizing. The ones you have met might have been assholes, one by one, I don't know that. But you cannot claim ALL are.

[Bodah]

gonavy47 gonavy47:

WTF does being a kid or a muslim have to do with defending swingers? I am not a prude. I have come to my conclusions, from having observed these people over time. They are not happy, contented, well-adjusted people. If you find that hard to believe, then I guess you do. OH well...

For someone who hates the lifestyle so much, you seem to have alot of contact with them to base your judgemental opinions of a whole group based on your interaction of a "supposed" few. What gives ?

Everyone has a different view of sex just because they dont live it your way doesn't mean its wrong if no one is getting hurt, dont be so righteous.

Love Jesus much ?

[gonavy47]

I said, you must be a swinger to defend them so, IF NOT, then meet some and see what I mean. You hate generalizations, I hate misquotes. I'm sure some swingers are just gol-durn good folks, I have never met any. But I have seen the effects of these people's "lifestyle" on their children, and their relationships. Children aren't so broad-minded, although they are expected to be. Real heart-warming stuff eh? Years of suffering, for someone else's selfishness.

[Brenda]

I have. So you claim because MY experience is not the same as yours, I MUST have never met one, or two, or three. Or I must BE one right now. Gotta love the arrogance on top of the generalization.
Did I ever claim ALL swingers were good people? Nope...

Your experience doesn't make it truth for the whole world. Neither does mine.

[gonavy47]

Arrogance is a two-way street sometimes. Look in the mirror before you call someone else arrogant. I actually agree with your last sentence.

[Brenda]

I understand your point. That is not the issue. It's not my sort of lifestyle either.
My point is that just because your experience with something wasnt a good one, doesnt mean everyones experience is like that, or that it is bad, period. That's why I brought up the kids and muslims. I am not a kid, I am not a muslim. I don't condone the terroristattacks in the name of Allah, but it still does not mean every muslim is a terrorist or that every terrorist is muslim.

And... I never claimed not to be arrogant

[raydan]

Couldn't find much on the net on the effect swinging has on children, but given more time, I probably could.
I found this in a report though that I did found interesting...

$1:

Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and scholarly interest because the attempt to combine sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is fundamentally "deviant" from the western model of romantic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are mutually reinforcing and inseparable (Boekhout, Hendrick and Hendrick, 1999). It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle actually strengthens or weakens marital relationships, but in an era where 37% of husbands and 29% of wives admit to having had at least one extra-marital affair (Reinisch, 1990), where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 60% (Jones, 1995), and where family instability and parental neglect of children has become a major national concern (Wagner, 1998; Lowe, 1996; Jones, et al, 1995), any attempt to redefine "love" and strengthen the marital bond is worthy of our attention. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, prolong family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.

EDIT: Sorry, here's the link to this study:
http://www.ejhs.org/volume3/swing/body.htm

[Brenda]

Well, that is the whole issue of swinging. As long as it is a mutual agreement.

It's not about love. It's about sex. It's about enjoying bodies of other people than just your spouses, and if you can come to a mutual agreement on it, and make sure you have a good way of communicating, I don't see an issue. But, the moment one gets feelings outside their relationship that they take into the relationship, THEN you have a problem.

Imo, and experience, not being honest with one another and not communicating is what fucks with your relationship.
As long as you can seperate sex from love, a lifestyle like that can be fullfilling.

Edit: To go back on topic tho... CHEATING is a whole different issue. Cheating is NOT a mutual agreement, and that fucks with your relationship, period.

[ASLplease]

Newsbot Newsbot:

Title: Cheating makes 'better partners,' infidelity guru says
Category: lifestyle
Posted By: Hyack
Date: 2009-11-14 07:58:00
Canadian

so sayeth the infedelity guru. What does the marriage guru say?

[Brenda]

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