[Newsbot]

Title: Joys of parenting exaggerated to justify costs: study
Category: Health
Posted By: wildrosegirl
Date: 2011-03-05 05:40:54
Canadian

[Bacardi4206]

Who the hell wrote this? What trash.

[rickc]

Bacardi4206 Bacardi4206:

Who the hell wrote this? What trash.

Exactly! Being a parent is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Just how selfish can some people be? Complaining about the cost of raising a child, give me a break.For me to see her inducted into the National Honer Society,or to see her make the winning shot in a game is priceless to me. I hope these selfish assholes never have kids by accident.

[Brenda]

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, with no guarantees you did your job right, or that they will become whatever you tried to raise them to be.

It's not a "great thing". It's underestimated, under-rewarded, under-appreciated and under-paid.
That is if you look at it from a "work" point of view.

[andyt]

It's just like being in love - rationally it doesn't make sense, but your emotions override the logic and it all seems great.

Too bad so many people shouldn't be parents in the first place. Young women who want a baby that will "love me just for me" ie the focus is on their needs. People who have children because it's the done thing, without really being ready for it. People who treat their children as status objects. Damaged people who can't care for themselves, never mind a child. etc.

[2Cdo]

andyt andyt:

Too bad so many people shouldn't be parents in the first place. Young women who want a baby that will "love me just for me" ie the focus is on their needs. People who have children because it's the done thing, without really being ready for it. People who treat their children as status objects. Damaged people who can't care for themselves, never mind a child. etc.

I would definitely rep you for this post andy! Well said.

[Brenda]

andyt andyt:

It's just like being in love - rationally it doesn't make sense, but your emotions override the logic and it all seems great.

I guess I am just too down to earth to be irrational

[Yogi]

I figured out the costs to raising children a long time ago.

The cost of;
cuddling a freshly fed&bathed newborn,lightly dusted with baby powder; PRICELESS
reading a bedtime story to a child who is hanging on your everyword; PRICELESS
teaching a child to ride their first 2 wheeler bicycle; PRICELESS
watching your child get onto the bus for their first day in school; PRICELESS
Watching your child receive his/her high school diploma; PRICELESS
Walking your daughter down the aisle: PRICELESS
Being in your son's wedding party: PRICELESS
Holding your Grandchildren for the very first time; PRICELESS
Getting a phone call from your child (yesterday) " Daddy, I have been
so busy,but I finally got a chance to stop for a coffee. I'm having a
great day, and wanted to make it perfect by hearing your voice"!
Absolutely beyond; PRICELESS


Just how could you put a price on this??? ^^

[andyt]

Brenda Brenda:

andyt andyt:

It's just like being in love - rationally it doesn't make sense, but your emotions override the logic and it all seems great.

I guess I am just too down to earth to be irrational

I dunno. Sounds like you had to make a mental adjustment when you had your daughter in the first place. But then the attachment mechanism took over, and now I've heard you say some pretty mama grizzlyish things on this forum. Ie you go into reptilian brain mode if your child is threatened.

[Brenda]

andyt andyt:

Brenda Brenda:

andyt andyt:

It's just like being in love - rationally it doesn't make sense, but your emotions override the logic and it all seems great.

I guess I am just too down to earth to be irrational

I dunno. Sounds like you had to make a mental adjustment when you had your daughter in the first place. But then the attachment mechanism took over, and now I've heard you say some pretty mama grizzlyish things on this forum. Ie you go into reptilian brain mode if your child is threatened.

Absolutely. But it doesn't mean I am blind for their mistakes... They are not little princesses that can do no wrong...
I want them to be the best they can be in whatever they choose to be, and it is my job to guide them in the right direction, and steer them back when they go into the wrong one.
But don't hurt them, because I will kill you

[Kitsune_H]

andyt andyt:

Too bad so many people shouldn't be parents in the first place. Young women who want a baby that will "love me just for me" ie the focus is on their needs. People who have children because it's the done thing, without really being ready for it. People who treat their children as status objects. Damaged people who can't care for themselves, never mind a child. etc.

As a psychologist, I've seen the results of this kind of upbringing. Mostly, by trying to talk them out of suicide. Andy, thanks for being the healthy sort, it was good to read that bit.

$1:

In other words, being aware of parenthood's price tag made them idealize the time they spent with their kids, and led them to want to spend even more time with them.
"So that's one potential benefit of these myths: It might leave parents to spend more time with their kids, which is of course good for families and kids," Eibach said.
So keep wearing those rose-cloured glasses, and go forth and multiply.

This was also pretty good to read. I was a bit concerned about the ethics of the experiment, but this last conclusion kind of picked me up. I haven't read the article, but now that I know it's there, I'll see if I can pick it up next time I'm at my college. If the summary linked up there is right, the conclusions seem pretty sound. There's always a bit of depressive guilt and projection complexes when it comes to childbearing (hence the sort of parents Andy described), and Rationalization (mostly in the form of minimization or dismissal of perceived loss) is a psychological defence you'll find in a lot of parents.

[andyt]

Brenda Brenda:

Absolutely. But it doesn't mean I am blind for their mistakes... They are not little princesses that can do no wrong...
I want them to be the best they can be in whatever they choose to be, and it is my job to guide them in the right direction, and steer them back when they go into the wrong one.
But don't hurt them, because I will kill you

Good for you. Making them into little princesses is just another form of abuse, or at least very bad parenting. A big part of your job is to teach her boundaries, ie hear the word no, but in a loving, gentle way. Many addicts have trouble with the word no, maybe because they didn't hear it enough growing up. Others of course heard it way too often.

But come on, if there's not an emotional investment, who's going to willingly deal with those poopy diapers? Or the crying at 3 am. Or the smashed new TV, etc etc etc. Or, just for you, when she brings home Charlie Sheen's younger brother cause he's cute.

[Brenda]

The investment is totally emotional. That is why this "study" is utter bullshit. How can you compare emotion to money?
I mean, of course kids cost money. And?

[PublicAnimalNo9]

I just don't think any two people should be the recipients of so much ingratitude